Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James Review, Rant or Whatever

ok so, lets start by saying that  I bought the books, all 3 of them, I didn´t get them for free, I spent my work earned money on them.

 

That being said I´m going to be a Little if not a lot more blunt about my thoughts and I´m also going to spoil the living shuts .... (couldn´t cuz before the warnings sorry) out of them, so if you haven´t read this trilogy and you don´t want to get spoiled...

Stop Reading This Review Right NOW!!!

 

Also this book is erotica, lots and lots of sex so... if you are not 18+

Stop Reading This Review Right NOW!!!

And if you hate reviews that express freely an opinión, a very truthful opinion then...

Stop Reading This Review Right NOW!!!

 

Anyway, a couple of very dear trusty friends had very hardcore feelings regarding this trilogy, it seemed that it was either an "I´m in love this is the best book ever VS this is the biggest piece of crap that´s ever being written". so seeing as my best buds who I trust completly regarding wich books to read or wich ones to  stay the hell away of where at odds with each other, I decided to go buy the books and read them  all, one after the other.

 

This wasn´t a spur of the moment thing, I knew I was either going to love or hate them but hey a girl´s gotta do what a girl´s gotta do.

 

lets start talking about the story...

 

Inocent poor girl meets rich, wicked and sexy guy...

geez very original

 

 

Then, sexy guy makes an indecent proposal and inocent girl thinks it over cause, you know he´s so sexy, and having a BDSM relationship is every virgin girl deepest dream.

 

 

Then they fall in love and two different people in two diffferent books try to get rid of her cause lets face it, she needs to be taken down.

 

 

After everything is said and done (3 Books) she gets preggers (hate this Word but hey I just read Fifty Shades of Fucked up so if you don´t like the Word, go suck a lemon LOL) he reacts very poorly, bad shit happens and then, they are happily ever after.

 

What a Lovely Story!!!

 

 

Story wise, thats it, just put lots of sex in between and there you have it.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

I have to say that I understand the appeal, I can see why these books have the fanbase they have. the whole playroom, handcufs and roughness, the tortured soul that needs healing. But I was very, very disappointed. these books had lots of potential and somehow they ended up lacking.

I won´t go as far as to say they are crap, even though I found myself laughing at the amount of errors or horrors inside these pages. I won´t say they are crap even though I puked a Little everytime I read  Oh my or my Inner goddess. I won´t say they are crap even though the word vagina is not listed on these book thesarus but fuck, butt plugs and spreader bar are.

Nope I won´t say they are crap

They are pretty close though, the plot is meee, it´s not as interesting as it was supposed to be, the characters are bland and dull there was really no emotion there,  even when I knew I should be crying or something Grey´s story just wasn´t good enough.  It was like Reading a worse versión of Eyes wide Shut.(you know Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman) Hell that was so bad!!!

The plot.... I think we established that already.

The only thing I found interesting was the sex scenes, the author sure did lots of research cause damm, they used stuff I didn´t even know existed LOL!!! but after the 1000 time they had nooky, I was over it. Boring plain and simple.

Now this is my personal opinión I didn´t like the series and I don´t have a clue how these even achieved movie status, but whatever the reason and even if I hate the books I have to congrat the author on a job well done.

E.L. James became famous her books are actioned to be movies and even though lots of people hate them everyone knows or want to know about the fifty shades movie. why??? I have no clue. for me it´s mostly about how are they going to manage this without just being porn. LOL!!

Yes these books started as a fanrfiction, so what??? she changed the names of the characters so???  whats the big deal,we all have read fanfics, and lots of us wheter you guys admit it or not have written some too; I have.  Would I change the names and try to make a book out of it? no I wouldn´t, cause I don´t feel my fanfics are book material, but maybe she did and she had the balls to put it out there and look where she is now.

so yeah the books suck but she did an amazing job at selling them, she did a better job than lots of authors with amazing books. is it fair? No!!! but it is what it is.

Would I read them again??? Hell to the MOFO No!!!! would I buy another book from this author???... read previous statment. would I go see the movie??? mabe, if my BGFF all go and we make a party out of it LOL!!!.